Mindset

Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – Week Two

November 22, 2017 by Rachel Bowman Leave a Comment

As a working mom, returning to work after maternity leave is a time of major changes and major emotions. There are so many thoughts and feelings that go through my head, I wanted to chronicle it because, well, it may never happen again. I hope my journey can provide some comfort to other women that are going through the same thing. (This is the third post in this series, the first post is here and the second post is here.)

Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave - Week Two - Just Getting Things Done — Getting out the door in the morning (you can only see half the bags I’m carrying)

The Weekend

Saturday morning I ran errands, got groceries and was way more productive than I usually am on the weekends. I knew I was going to be tired in the afternoon either way, so I wanted to get everything done in the morning. Most weekends 10am rolls around and we’ve done nothing. Not today.

The in-laws came on Saturday while I was still running errands with Ivy and were here almost until dinner time. I was tired and really wanted to take a nap but didn’t because they were here. After they left I realized I should have just taken a nap anyway instead of sitting around wishing I could. I don’t think I was very fun.

My sister stopped by shortly after they left, and I started making dinner while she was still here. It was a busy day.

Sunday was more relaxed, since we’d even managed to get most of the laundry done the day before. I was brushing Emma’s hair and decided it really was time for a haircut. Like now. We talked about it for months because it was so long and hard to brush, but I hadn’t made it happen. I didn’t know where we should get it cut. I didn’t make an appointment. I was just indecisive. Well, today I decided we were going to Great Clips and doing it.

My husband needed a haircut too so we all piled in the car. Haircuts went well and were pretty fast, but by the time we got home it was practically lunchtime. I didn’t get a nap on Sunday either because I had my own hair appointment that afternoon. I guess it was haircut weekend.

I remember now how fast the weekends go too. [Read more…] about Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – Week Two

Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – Week 1

November 14, 2017 by Rachel Bowman Leave a Comment

As a working mom, returning to work after maternity leave is a time of major changes and major emotions. There are so many thoughts and feelings that go through my head, I wanted to chronicle it because, well, it may never happen again. I hope my journey can provide some comfort to other women that are going through the same thing. (This is the second post in this series, the first post is here)

Returning to Work After Maternity Leave - Week 1 — Coming home from daycare pick-up with the big girls

Weekend

Sunday night I feel totally unprepared. I don’t know if I even have enough clothes to get through a whole week. Sean doesn’t know what to do at drop off with Clara. He doesn’t know what she has at school already and what she doesn’t because I’ve done it all on my own. (Of course, he’s done this before too.) We discussed who was going to drop off who, but that was awhile ago. Don’t we need to talk about it again to make sure we’re on the same page?

I got my clothes for Monday morning ready and put them in the bathroom. I packed my breakfast, lunch, snack. I put my computer and pump in the Gathering Place. I put my phone in my purse (instead of sitting right by it) so I wouldn’t forget it. I’m doing my best to make sure I have everything I need when I leave the house tomorrow. [Read more…] about Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – Week 1

Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – 1 Week To Go

November 9, 2017 by Rachel Bowman Leave a Comment

The weekend

Over the weekend I said more than once, “I don’t want to go back to work.” But it’s not as simple as that statement makes it seem. I don’t want to go back to work because right now I get to stay home all day and snuggle my sweet baby. I don’t think I’m going to care at all about work. It’s not going to seem important compared to my baby.

I also know that I can’t stay home with (just) the baby forever. We have two other kids and we couldn’t keep sending them to daycare if I wasn’t working. I wouldn’t want to. But I also know that I wouldn’t want to stay home with all three kids every day.

I don’t really like saying that, because in some ways it makes me feel bad. I feel like I have to justify it by saying they’ve been in daycare and they’re used to spending all day with other kids their age in an environment that is tailored to them. Our house isn’t like that. I also just don’t think I’d be great at it. I love my kids so much and I think they’re amazing and beautiful. I know myself, though, and at some point that just wouldn’t be enough for me. [Read more…] about Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave – 1 Week To Go

How Do Working Moms Get It All Done?

October 30, 2017 by Rachel Bowman Leave a Comment

Working Moms Get It All Done - Working Mom — © Meredith Moran Photography www.meredithkmoran.com

I remember when I went back to work after my first daughter, Emma, was born. I was overwhelmed with questions. How do I focus on work when I left my baby with someone else? How do I know if I did the right thing by coming back to work? How am I supposed to remember everything? Am I a bad mom because I’m excited to only be responsible for myself for the next 8 hours?

So I did what anyone does these days when they have a question. I turned to Google.

One of the biggest questions I had was “How do working moms get it all done?”

So I googled that and “How do working moms do it all?” The search results were filled with articles telling me that I couldn’t do it all. They said things like “just accept that you’ll have dirty dishes” or that “your laundry will never be done.” They told me I would just have to lower my standards. That was the only way I would be able to get by as a working mom.

But that didn’t work for me. What if it makes me happy to cook dinner every night and to make sure we don’t ever have piles of dirty laundry laying around the house? What if mountains of dirty dishes would make me unhappy? As a working mom, what am I supposed to do then?

There was no good answer that I could find.

Reflections on Mental Clutter

November 15, 2016 by Rachel Bowman 16 Comments

I think mental clutter is a lot like physical clutter. Something lying around in an inconvenient place that requires some action by you. It starts with the thoughts that fly through your head all day. You know the ones.

I have to make a well-check appointment for my little one.
I need to remember to bring my computer home from work today.
I need to call my mom.
I signed up for a conference at school, I wonder when that is.
I really need new shoes.
My purse is a mess, I should clean it out.
The kids got flu shots but I haven’t yet.
And on and on.

If you’ve read my guide or some of my other articles, you know my strategy when I have those thoughts is to act on them right away. That way I’m not adding to the mental clutter. If I don’t do them or schedule them, they will just be in my mind until I finally take care of them. Like the physical clutter, I may not notice it but it’s there. When I try to think about it, it doesn’t immediately come to mind. It just hangs out there in the back of my mind causing stress. [Read more…] about Reflections on Mental Clutter

How Cleaning Up For 5 Minutes Makes You Feel Like Less of a Failure as a Wife and Mom

August 9, 2016 by Rachel Bowman 23 Comments

We need to talk. It’s about all that stuff you’ve accumulated in your house since you had kids and how it’s affecting you.

Almost every mom I talk to says they just have to accept the mess even if it bugs them. They deal with it even though they don’t like it. They just don’t look at it. They don’t obsess about cleaning anymore.

There are places in our homes we don’t go because we don’t want to see the mess! I’m guilty of this too. For me it’s one of the rooms in the basement. It’s like a thrift store threw up down there. There’s stuff everywhere that we’re not using.

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