As a working mom, returning to work after maternity leave is a time of major changes and major emotions. There are so many thoughts and feelings that go through my head, I wanted to chronicle it because, well, it may never happen again. I hope my journey can provide some comfort to other women that are going through the same thing. (This is the third post in this series, the first post is here and the second post is here.)
Saturday morning I ran errands, got groceries and was way more productive than I usually am on the weekends. I knew I was going to be tired in the afternoon either way, so I wanted to get everything done in the morning. Most weekends 10am rolls around and we’ve done nothing. Not today.
The in-laws came on Saturday while I was still running errands with Ivy and were here almost until dinner time. I was tired and really wanted to take a nap but didn’t because they were here. After they left I realized I should have just taken a nap anyway instead of sitting around wishing I could. I don’t think I was very fun.
My sister stopped by shortly after they left, and I started making dinner while she was still here. It was a busy day.
Sunday was more relaxed, since we’d even managed to get most of the laundry done the day before. I was brushing Emma’s hair and decided it really was time for a haircut. Like now. We talked about it for months because it was so long and hard to brush, but I hadn’t made it happen. I didn’t know where we should get it cut. I didn’t make an appointment. I was just indecisive. Well, today I decided we were going to Great Clips and doing it.
My husband needed a haircut too so we all piled in the car. Haircuts went well and were pretty fast, but by the time we got home it was practically lunchtime. I didn’t get a nap on Sunday either because I had my own hair appointment that afternoon. I guess it was haircut weekend.
I remember now how fast the weekends go too.
Back at it again. We had a good morning and the big girls did good at drop off. It’s always a good day when there aren’t any meltdowns before we leave the house. And Ivy slept through the night, so that was awesome (better than when we were going through this). I was really frustrated about that situation and it was really difficult for me to let go of. When I thought about it, I would just get upset.
It’s been gray and overcast and it was raining this afternoon, so I picked the big girls up from daycare. That means no alone time with the baby, but that’s ok. I always like to do pick-up, even though I don’t usually get a big smile or hug.
I spent way too much time today trying to refill a prescription. I logged onto my insurance website but couldn’t refill the prescription because it had expired. The app/website my doctor uses wasn’t working. I kept trying to login and couldn’t. I tried my phone. I tried the app. I tried the website. Finally I gave up and called the doctor. After going through two menus, I got a message that said to use the app/website that wasn’t working. So I called insurance and they said they could send a request to my doctor. What a pain. Though surprisingly the insurance company rep was pleasant and helpful.
Still dealing with the prescription. I logged in to the insurance website and it said they were still waiting for the doctor. I was finally able to login to the doctor’s app, but no information would come up. When I tried again later the info came up but the prescription thing they had sent was for a local pharmacy not the at-home delivery one I wanted…
I went and picked up the big girls at daycare again because it’s cold and gray. My husband’s been doing it, along with dropping off and picking up Clara, because he knows I like some time alone with her. It works out well for me but it’s a lot for him to be doing so much of the drop-offs/pick-ups. It’s ok for now but I have a feeling he’ll get burnt out at some point.
Anyway, it’s nice for me to be able to pick them up sometimes too. It’s going to be kind of a weird week anyway.
Baths and showers went well tonight. The girls always act like taking a bath or shower is the last thing they want to do, but then they never want to get out. I don’t get it. Sometimes they bathe at the same time, other times they refuse to. Tonight Ivy took a bath and Emma took a shower. Ivy and I got to play while she was in the tub. It’s nice to have some one-on-one time with them. I’ll take it where I can get it.
I worked from home today. We’re having an egress window installed and someone had to be here to show them where to dig. My husband had a dentist appointment at 7 this morning. I had totally forgotten that if he didn’t go to work, it would mean I would have to drive all the way across town to take her to daycare. It didn’t seem worth it if I was working from home, so I asked if he’d still take Clara. He said he’d come back after his appointment and get her.
I had this to keep all the girls at home until he got here and then we would all leave at the same time. It was good to spend more time with the girls in the morning, but when my husband got back I started to lose it a little. We got a new router recently and I hadn’t connected to wi-fi with my work computer yet. We chose our own password that we thought would be easy to remember. Ha! As though we remember anything. Neither of us could get it right and we couldn’t find any devices where we could see the password.
Emma was on her third pair of shoes and they still didn’t feel right. So I got a little stressed out, but was finally able to connect to wi-fi, which meant I could actually work from home. We got out the door and I dropped the big girls off at daycare.
I had a long video call. My mom is in town and she and my sister came over with lunch. It was a really weird day but it was nice to spend some time with them over lunch. It just felt really strange to be off my schedule and be at home by myself.
I was at the office again today. It was my husband’s turn to work from home today, so I dropped Clara off and he dropped off the big girls (whose daycare is right by our house). Traffic was bad this morning and sitting in the car barely moving wasn’t fun, but it was fun to have Clara in the car with me and it was nice to drop her off.
The work on the egress window didn’t go as planned and my husband and I were both frustrated about that. I didn’t have much to do at work today because I’m waiting on answers to keep going with what I’m doing. But I got organized there and I know what’s coming up. Normally I’d rather be really busy at work to make it worthwhile to be there but right now I’m feeling like it’s ok to have an “easy” day once in awhile. Clara took a 4 hour nap at daycare anyway, which is a really expensive nap. I mean, she probably wouldn’t have napped that good at home, but I’m glad she took a good nap.
Dinner was in the crockpot, so that was easy. I gave Clara a bath while my husband picked up the big girls and then gave them showers after they got home. I was going to let my husband do it, but I like to and the girls like it when I do it. So I did. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my nights to put the kids to bed during the week, so I did that too.
I can’t believe another week is almost over.
Well, the egress window didn’t get installed yesterday. I got upset about the situation last night and it’s just gotten worse today. Thankfully my husband has taken over dealing with it since he’s the one at home. Still, it’s been frustrating for both of us. Plus my mom is in town and is supposed to stay with us (in that room). She could have stayed Wednesday and Thursday but we thought they’d be working on it.
I got to drop Clara off today and traffic wasn’t nearly as bad as yesterday. The big girls ate most of my first breakfast, and it took Emma forever to get dressed, but she did it by herself. She picked out 2 sleeveless dresses to wear, so I told her she had to wear a shirt under them too. She did. I love it when she picks out weird, colorful outfits.
My husband woke Clara up before we left so I could feed her. She was in a good mood and stayed awake the whole drive in. It was fun to hear her making little noises in the back the whole way.
Work was slow today and it felt like the day should be over at 1:30 but then 3:00 came around before I knew it. I can’t believe another week has gone by and I’ve already been back for two weeks. In some ways it feels like I just came back. In other ways it feels like I never left. Those 3 months home on the couch just passed in a blur like it was some kind of alternate reality where I didn’t have to do anything (except care for a baby).