At the beginning of the school year I got yelled at by a crossing guard for crossing the parking lot where there wasn’t a crosswalk. I was doing my best just to get my kids to school and figure out where I needed to go. And I made a mistake. Even though I did my best and had asked the day before if we could cross there.
I felt ashamed that I did it wrong.
One of the teachers pulled me aside and talked to me about it. She told me where I should drop my kids off and that she would talk to the principal and send me an email.
In the moment I couldn’t believe that I could make such a big mistake. It was so embarrassing to be yelled at in front of a huge line of cars. All those people had to wait in their cars to do drop off the right way.
Now I just think it seems ridiculous.
I didn’t have all the information and I made a mistake. I’m human. It’s not a big deal. But I had to face up to the fact that I felt ashamed about it so that I could see it this way.
I made another mistake recently.
Thanksgiving was supposed to be with my parents (who have been a part of our bubble basically this whole time) and my youngest sister. We felt comfortable with that. We were glad it was going to be small.
Then my two step-brothers’ plans with their mom got cancelled. They were going to come to Thanksgiving. They each have 4 kids. They are mostly teenagers, though one niece is an adult and in the Navy. She was going to be there too.
We were not comfortable with it. We talked about not going, but I didn’t want to quarantine from my mom for two weeks. I figured they were all basically in our bubble anyway because my parents had been seeing my siblings. We knew it was not a good idea, but we ended up going anyway.
And then we got Covid.
My husband and I had “mild” symptoms and the girls had basically no symptoms. But mild symptoms made me pretty miserable for a couple weeks. During our first full week of online school. Well, basically for all of our online schooling.
And here’s where I made another mistake.
I thought that to rest meant – do all the things I normally do plus rest.
Like I was somehow going to magically have extra time in my day to rest.
And that I could ignore feeling disappointed with myself for being so careful for months and then making a mistake. I had a lot of thoughts about getting Covid and most of them were not good.
Now that I’m feeling better, it’s Christmas break. I have done almost nothing to prepare for Christmas. My older girls are going back to in-person school after the break. My three year old’s behavior is getting even more out of control and I will be with just her full-time.
And it’s ok.
I know that it will be ok.
I’m human. I make mistakes.
I started making Christmas cards at the beginning of November and didn’t finish them. I could sit here and be upset about it. We got holiday photos done for the first time ever! Instead I’m thinking I’ll do a New Year card and that will be perfect for this year. (And also, I get to share one with you here.)
So, here’s to not wallowing in our mistakes.
P.S. If you get stuck in your head thinking about all the things that you should be doing, but not actually doing them. We should talk. I’ll help you see what’s really going on and give the roadmap to get back on track. Click here to schedule a call.